


Do You Dare to Breathe?

by Immortal_With_A_Kiss



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Because Gellert has morals in this one, Canon Gay Relationship, Canonical Character Death, Guilt, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Sort Of, Summer of 1899, Young Albus Dumbledore, Young Gellert Grindelwald, dark au, kind of, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21628090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_With_A_Kiss/pseuds/Immortal_With_A_Kiss
Summary: History is a mutable thing with hinge-points in both the most dramatic moments and the most casual.What if Albus Dumbledore had run after Gellert Grindelwald instead of letting him leave after the duel in 1899?Might make this a series of "ways Albus and Gellert could've stayed together if they made one really simple choice"
Relationships: Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Comments: 5
Kudos: 60





	Do You Dare to Breathe?

**Author's Note:**

> I know I already covered the duel, just imagine this as a separate universe or something  
> I have like six different headcanons for every event...I'm a mess

There was a moment when he felt like he was floating in a vacuum, even sound and touch drained away, but the screaming dragged Albus back to earth. Or was this hell? The first thing he saw was worry shining in those mismatched eyes he’d come to memorize. Gellert’s hand stilled when he realized Albus was awake and his shoulders relaxed slightly. Albus noticed that Gellert had extended his left hand and he couldn’t help glancing down to confirm that the other boy was still holding his wand. That sparked fragments of memory that were slowly piecing themselves together of flashing lights and curses and shouts and screams and a beloved voice whispering a spell. _Crucio_. An Unforgivable.

Another strangled scream pulled him out of his haze and he saw his brother bent over. For a moment, his heart dropped to his stomach as he imagined Aberforth suffering from some grave wound. But then he realized what the younger Dumbledore was holding. Albus brought a trembling hand to his mouth as he cried out. Cradled in his brother’s arms was the broken body of their little sister. Their dear sweet Ariana. Broken beyond repair like the porcelain dolls she wasn’t allowed to have after the incident because her magic kept strewing them across the floor. Life snuffed out like the dark force that possessed her had taken their mother. 

Gellert’s hand had found it’s way to his shoulder now and he pulled Albus into a tight hug. Albus could do nothing but sob into his lover’s chest. Everything seemed inconsequential in that moment. Everything had shattered in that moment. 

“You…” Came a trembling voice, making Albus look up.

Aberforth had risen to his feet now, his wand aimed at Gellert’s head.

“You killed her…” Aberforth’s voice broke. “You murdered my sister! You destroy everything you touch!” 

“Aberforth please…” 

“No!” Rage gave the younger brother new conviction and his tearful glare shifted to his brother. “This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t abandoned us for this…this monster.” He turned back to Gellert. “Nearly killed someone at Durmstrang, yeah? Even the School of the Dark Arts didn’t want you and so you came here and now you’ve stolen my brother away and you’ve murdered my sister. Duel me, Grindelwald. Duel me right now or I’ll kill you. I swear I’ll kill you.”

Gellert disentangled himself from Albus, raising his wand. His face was devoid of emotion as he mockingly bowed to the shorter boy.

“On three then.” He said, readying a dueling stance.

“Aberforth-” His brother’s face remained obstinate.

“One-”

“Gellert-” His lover didn’t respond to his plea.

“Two-”

“No!” Albus shouted, launching himself at Gellert just as the Austrian called “Three” and cast his first spell which smashed the kitchen window that had somehow earlier escaped damaged.

Aberforth’s spell flew over their heads, uselessly exploding on the fireplace without effect. Clearly not a spell meant for inorganic objects. Albus stood between the two boys, looking at neither of them. His sister’s corpse, Merlin he hated the word, held his attention. And then he turned on Gellert.

“I will not stand idly by and watch you hurt another member of my family, Gellert.” He said.

Gellert scowled. “Fine.”

With that one syllable, he turned on his heel and left. Albus’s grip on his own wand tightened. There was something of the look on Gellert’s face before he turned, a flash of hurt and utter betrayal, that made Albus feel like this was something final. He hadn’t meant to end things, not permanently. He just needed to de-escalate the situation before he ended up the last living child of Percival and Kendra. Merlin he’d failed them too hard already. It was that note of finality in Gellert’s expression that made Albus put aside the stern talking-to he’d planned to unleash on his little brother. He simply gave Aberforth a sharp glare that said “I’ll deal with you later” before dashing out the door.

Albus could just make out Gellert’s retreating back in the rain. When had it started raining? His mind couldn’t conjure any spells as he simply dashed after his lover.

“Gellert, wait!” He shouted.

Gellert turned briefly, his eyes gleaming in the rain full of hurt and betrayal and coldness. It almost made Albus stop, the coldness that was so unfamiliar in those beautiful eyes. But in the end, it only strengthened his resolve to make sure this wasn’t the end because it couldn’t be the end because he didn’t want it to end.

But then Gellert was running and he was chasing and their hands touched _just_ as the characteristic crack of apparition rang out and Godric’s Hollow slipped away.

Where exactly they apparated to, Albus could not say. They’d surely crashed through at least three international borders, thereby constituting at least three felonies, but they could just as well be in Prussia as in Spain. Propriety suggested it was Austria, Gellert being Austrian, but in the end it didn’t matter. What did was that it was a field and that Albus was with Gellert and that Gellert seemed too tired to attempt to apparate through half of Europe again.

“You ass…” Gellert muttered, falling to the ground dramatically and pulling Albus with him.

“Gellert, I didn’t mean…” Albus trailed off, trying to find the perfectly elegant thing to say to resolve all of their problems. Of course, there probably wasn’t anything he could say that would to that but there had to be something he could say that would at least convince Gellert to look at him. “I know he’s infuriating but Abe says a lot of stupid things he doesn’t mean. You can’t go getting provoked by everything.”

“I haven’t!” Gellert shouted angrily, still refusing to look up. “The whole damn summer the bastard’s been poking at you and poking at me and poking and poking and I’ve barely said half of what the half-wit deserves.”

“I know.” Albus sighs. “But you can’t duel him. He might be a pain in the ass, but he’s still my brother and I don’t want him to get hurt. That’s why I stopped you.”

“And what about your sister?” Gellert said, finally meeting Albus’s eyes but his look is so accusatory Albus almost wishes he hadn’t. “You basically said that _I_ murdered her. You do know what really happened, right?”

Albus didn’t want to answer. He really didn’t. Because Gellert was right, part of him wanted to absolve himself of the guilt and pain of being responsible. One of the ones responsible. But there was another part of him that wanted to take all the blame. To take that weight off of Gellert’s shoulders because, by Merlin, he had enough burdens as it was. But they had declared that they lived for truth, for freedom. And so the truth was all he could say, looking into those mismatched eyes.

“It was the pact.” His voice broke despite his certainty.

“Yes.” Gellert’s expression softened and he reached up, as if to touch Albus’s cheek before deciding against it. “It was us. _We_ killed her.”

Something about the way Gellert said it made it more shattering than seeing her laying there, broken and wide-eyed. Because it confirmed the bitter truth. And truly it wasn’t even Gellert’s fault. Even if it was the pact that was the final spell, it was his failure to pick a side, his failure to stand by Gellert knowing of the pact, his failure to stop the duel, his failure to stop the obscurus from killing his mother, his failure to speak up against the secrecy and get her help, his failure to do anything but watch his father leave to attack the muggle boys. His failure to protect his little sister in the first place. It was all of his failures piling and piling in this miserable life of his that led to her death. It was his fault. All his fault.

“And what for?” He choked on a sob. “Why did she die? What purpose does it serve? Was it for the Greater Good?”

“No.” Gellert’s response was as cruel as it was true because he desperately, so desperately needed to know that this had some meaning. That this wasn’t some senseless act of violence. “It was not for the Greater Good.”

Albus broke down crying, truly crying for the first time since…since when? He hadn’t cried when Ariana was attacked, shock had held him too unrelentingly tight then. He hadn’t cried when his father was sentenced, his mother’s hand on his shoulder telling him to be strong. He hadn’t cried when his mother died, he had to be strong for his siblings. All of it piled, like his many many failures, and now it was all coming out, all bleeding out in this one moment.

Gellert’s arms around him were barely a comfort, but he was solid and he was there and he was alive. And that was something.

“I’m sorry, Albus.” He whispered. “This never should have happened, none of it. And I wish there was a way to go back in time and change all of this but unfortunately, I think the Mintumble case proves that it’s impossible.”

Albus chuckled weakly at that.

“So instead I will ensure that there’s never another Ariana. Even if I must lay down my life, I _will_ honor her. And I promise you, Albus, from now on I will act only for the sake of the Greater Good, using only what force is necessary. No more unnecessary deaths. There’s only one question.”

Gellert pulled away so that he could wipe away the last few tears on Albus’s face. Albus stared at him quizzically, though he had a decent idea of what Gellert was about to ask. And what his answer would inevitably be.

“Will you come with me?”

Albus smiled, just a little. “For the Greater Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> I might edit this, I wrote it in like an hour at midnight and considering that I can't even spell words right now, it probably shouldn't be posted but whatever. I have this whole grand Grindeldore AU thing planned but this fic kept taking all my thought-space so I decided to be done with it. And then I realized I have like 20 plot threads of the same idea, what if these two idiots made this REALLY simple decision and stayed together, so who knows I might make this a series????
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this, please comment your thoughts.  
> -Rei


End file.
